In memory...

Remembering Grief

I won't say who, but let's just say this person (who has died) taught me one of the most important life lesson (see previous post) that I had to learn too early. So I am posting a photo (above) I took in a graveyard and a song that came on Pandora and made me just think of that time and that lesson.

Dreamer Dies ~ Autovein
"I know this sounds absurd,

but this is what I heard

I know you must be lonely

Underneath, you're insecure

but you can rest assured

I know you're not the only one

It's always such a shame

To slander your own name

In a struggle to survive

You're everyone's best friend

You're abandoned in the end

And you never felt alive

It's hard to climb a waterfall

I never realized

That there's a part inside us all

That tumbles from the sky

When we watch a dreamer die

Do you remember when

All of this began,

And you never turned around?

It must be hard to find again

The place where you had been

When you finally hit the ground

And everyone believes

And no one ever sees

Your struggle to survive

And no one understands

Who's there to hold your hand

When you fight to stay alive

It's hard to climb a waterfall

I never realized

That there's a part inside us all

That tumbles from the sky

When we watch a dreamer die

And I don't ever want to

Well, I don't ever want to

I don't ever want to die like you"

Life's lessons learned too early

Seeing Darkly

One of the best aspects of the place that I work at is the people. They all really like what they do, are good at it, and are also funny. Some of them cannot stand each other and yet they still work together and laugh together. It's a lesson in life really. Working is also getting me to think more about life's many lessons.
One of my favorite people at work is this guy named Richard. He's pretty great. He's a Canadian who has been working in the biz for many years and lived all over the place. He also has a hefty knowledge of two of my favorite subjects: Black and White movies and photography (as well as many, many other topics). Though my shift ends at 1230 a.m., I often stick around on nights that Richard works to talk.
Last night we (in a roundabout fashion) ended up talking about life's lessons and how often we learn them too early. One of the most important being: "Life isn't fair." We were talking about Buddy Holly and how I wasn't really into his 50's sound and we discussed what Buddy could have done had he lived into the sixties where bans on the type of music, instruments and lyrics were lifted (in 1967 to be exact). We decided it wasn't fair that Buddy had died before being allowed to really come into his own.
That's when he asked me, point blank: "Have you lost someone?" It would have bothered me, but its Richard. He's a friend and we definitely connected after he pulled me out of my shell at work.
"Life's not fair." It's something that everyone learns, but often we learn too early in life. Sometimes, though, I feel like learning it early is better for you. Or at least learning of death is the experience I had and it has shaped almost my entire outlook. To be honest I do see the world through a darker lens, but I think it gives me a better perspective. It helps me see beauty in a graveyard (as I found above), joy in death, and to let go of a lot of things that other might be bothered by. I learned those lessons early. Richard did too.
I am happy to be where I am in life. It helps that I have good coworkers where I work. It helps that I have people that accept my darker ways and support me. I hope I will still have a job here after labor day comes (when the hiring freeze may or may not have ended here).

Smoke inhalation

Above is an AP picture of smoke from a wildfire devastating the Great Dismal Swamp. While I do care that this natural landmark and essential ecosystem is being slowly destroyed (as many other areas have been consumed by fire), this one has actually directly affected me. It's really sad when forest fires can be so huge that I am having trouble breathing, my eyes are watering and I am sneezing, while the fire remains miles and miles away. Quite disturbing. I feel for the firefighters who are out there in it trying to get this thing under control and asthma sufferers in this area who are probably having even worse trouble than I am. Sadly this fire will be continuing for quite some time.

In other news, I have two more bylines at a professional paper under my belt. Granted both are for area graduations, but they are good six-inch stories, with one highlighting my ability to write on deadline. And, I would say its a pretty good achievement to get both of these done and be a copy editor who also has to stay all night to read stories and get headlines written for them. Needless to say, I have a lack of photos to share, due mostly in part to a lack of time.