A change is gonna come...

Dear readers, I'm afraid that I sit on a precipice. Yesterday our editor told us that due to outsourcing, copy editors and designers would soon be obsolete at my paper. Those are the two areas I focus on right now (while I build my online skills on the side), so this means I can almost feel the hairs of the scope settling over me as the powers-that-be prepare to lay off 10-15 of us copy editors and designers. We won't know until at least next week, and likely more than three weeks, whether we still have a place here at my shrinking paper. It's just another blow to the newspaper industry and to those of us who attempted to embark on a career in a field that is apparently dying.
My company has gone through 3 sets of lay offs in the less than two years I've been working here. This will be the first time I've actually feared for my job. And the future is hanging heavily over my head.
I do have enough saved up to cover necessities if I were be laid off (call it my 3-month emergency fund that I've steadily grown to cover 5 months because I am so loathe to spend money). But I have virtually no job prospects, at least not in the state where I hope to eventually attend graduate school. I certainly couldn't afford a dog if I were to be laid off, and the fiance and I have been seriously talking about adopting one in the next few months. And, as the fiance said, the wedding is not a necessity at this point.
So, my dear readers, it seems my steady little world has been largely upended. Not only do I not know if I will have a job in three weeks, I also don't know if I will be married in 2010. Right now the plan is to find a venue with openings, but we won't consider offering a down payment or signing a contract until April, when all of this will hopefully be resolved.

A lesson in (NOT) fear-mongering

So, one of the first wedding blogs I discovered after I got engaged was an entertaining and innovative site called The Offbeat Bride, which centers around breaking down the silly traditions that no one wants or remembers why they became traditions. It's about proving that your wedding CAN be what YOU want it to be, instead of what your mom wants or your overbearing grandmother wants, or what have you. Not that the blog dismisses people doing the normal wedding thing, as long as that's what the bride and groom wanted to begin with, it's all good with them.
I have had a lot of fun seeing other people have a lot of fun on their wedding day, on this blog and on other blogs. But once I got engaged, I also got hit with all the negative stereotypes about weddings and marriage from my friends, family and even just acquantances; everyone seems to want to share and become your sister (or brother) in the most terrible time of your life (that is wedding planning and your wedding day and even your basic life as a married individual).
Apparently I'm not the only one who has been victim of this fear-mongering, as Ariel, the author of Offbeat Bride, calls it. As she says in her witty analysis of this phenomenom of the Oh-you'll-seeeeee, when people constantly project their challenges on others and get angry when you don't get worried or decide just to not bother with that aspect all, "I think what goes unsaid (by the fear-mongers) is You HAVE to worry! It's what we're going to bond over, because bonding over hardship is awesome!"
I have to admit it's great to hear from someone who has been there that "it just doesn't have to be that way." I've heard so many negative things from so many other people, not just about the planning or the day, but about how love dies when you get married, or you get old and boring when you get married, or you will have kids when you get married (uh, not likely?). In any case, for everyone in any situation I think Ariel imparts a great truth in this part of her post:

"It seem that in our effort to find shared experiences, we turn to each other and tell awful stories about how hard it all is. And you know what? Sometimes it IS hard. Sometimes the wedding plans fall apart and relationships fall apart and it feels like our life is falling apart. But rather than tell the horror stories, why not share the lessons? Learn as much as you can and share the positivity of what you learned, rather than the shared grumping about didn't work."

Wedding details

I thought I'd spend this post compiling some of the bouquet/boutonniere styles I've found. The fiance and I are hoping to buy flowers in bulk and make simple arrangements to save money. I stress simple because everyone says it's not good to take on projects when you already have to deal with the basic stress that goes along with weddings. Why do they have to be so stressful? It's supposed to be about happiness and love! Oy, I believe that's another post altogether. On to the eye candy!


The basic gist is that I would have calla lilies. I've since learned that Calla's are kinds of cliche wedding flowers. But they are my favorite, so what can I do? I could just do this:


But I would definitely say that it is way too simple. My best bet is to mix some other flowers in, preferably slightly cheaper ones to fill out the bouquet without costing a fortune.

Maybe this?
You're right, that's almost in the too complicated category. And it looks like there are orchids in there, and those puppies are super expensive. Instead I might try either of these:


As far as the gentlemen go, I like this one a lot:


What's encouraging is that someone made the above one all by themselves after buying the flowers in bulk and investing in some florists tape and safety pins. I might replace the little white flower with a yellow flower.

A day to remember

There's a tradition among us humans. Having more than a 5 minute memory gives us the unique and annoying habit of looking into the past and evaluating it.
The human race also has an annoying habit of making those infamous things called "Best of" lists. Most animals don't do this, and for many memories that are added to these lists, it's not a good habit to go about remembering them. But for those few moments that can light up your life and make you warm and fuzzy all over, being able to look back is a gift. I had a best day this year. There are very few of those, and their definitions are continually changing and evolving according to new moments that arise. But I think all my future moments will forever be judged based on this moment, and I guess that makes it the best of 2009.
While I myself hate "Best of" lists, it's not hard to get on board with picking my best moment of 2009. It was obviously the moment that Travis proposed. I would also have to say that it was also the best day of 2009, lest I forget how amazing the horseback ride on the beach at sunset was for me. I believe the photo illustrates that moment best, and I will therefore end this post before I spoil the beauty and simplicity that the image encompasses for me.