I have had a lot of fun seeing other people have a lot of fun on their wedding day, on this blog and on other blogs. But once I got engaged, I also got hit with all the negative stereotypes about weddings and marriage from my friends, family and even just acquantances; everyone seems to want to share and become your sister (or brother) in the most terrible time of your life (that is wedding planning and your wedding day and even your basic life as a married individual).
Apparently I'm not the only one who has been victim of this fear-mongering, as Ariel, the author of Offbeat Bride, calls it. As she says in her witty analysis of this phenomenom of the Oh-you'll-seeeeee, when people constantly project their challenges on others and get angry when you don't get worried or decide just to not bother with that aspect all, "I think what goes unsaid (by the fear-mongers) is You HAVE to worry! It's what we're going to bond over, because bonding over hardship is awesome!"
I have to admit it's great to hear from someone who has been there that "it just doesn't have to be that way." I've heard so many negative things from so many other people, not just about the planning or the day, but about how love dies when you get married, or you get old and boring when you get married, or you will have kids when you get married (uh, not likely?). In any case, for everyone in any situation I think Ariel imparts a great truth in this part of her post:
"It seem that in our effort to find shared experiences, we turn to each other and tell awful stories about how hard it all is. And you know what? Sometimes it IS hard. Sometimes the wedding plans fall apart and relationships fall apart and it feels like our life is falling apart. But rather than tell the horror stories, why not share the lessons? Learn as much as you can and share the positivity of what you learned, rather than the shared grumping about didn't work."